Why aren't women looking after their men?

I was invited to a meeting today that got way off track at one point. I was so bored that I wanted to stick pins in my eyeballs. Thankfully, I got hold of my senses...what a mess that would have been...and I started gazing around the table.

There were 12 people...five of them men. I started to smell something funny and traced it to the guy next to me. It was his feet...in lace up shoes...and the odor was emanating from within the shoe, seeping out and stunk like he took them right off! His pants were circa mid-80s...you know, the kind the punkers/anarchists used to wear that get tight tight tight around the ankles. I moved my head from that direction quickly and turned to the left where I see another guy, the head of a division who makes scads of money, wearing an old, cheap, blue polyster suit that was starting to shine a bit near the elbows. Oh, but it had the ever elegant pin stripe...that was starting to shine too!! Hello...where is his wife? The third guy had a nice blazer, classy tee and pants that just didn't go with anything. The other two guys are single...I know this...so they are excused for having no taste.

So my question is...where are the wives?? What are these women thinking? Why are they letting their husbands out of the house looking like shmatas?

When I met my husband he was in his mid 30's. All he wore were jeans and t-shirts. He had one suit that someone GAVE HIM (how disgusting is that? I actually let him know but I digress...) so I told him he had to throw it out because he was certainly not wearing it in public again. He hymned and hawed that it wasn't so bad and finally agreed that he would throw it out. Somehow I didn't trust him, so I said I was going to put a match to it and throw it in the firepit. And I did. And his old balled-up sweater went into the flames as well. I then took him shopping and watched the complete transformation of a man who thought clothes didn't matter. The first time he put on a really nice outfit, came out of the dressing room and looked at himself in a mirror did it for him when he saw how good he could look. Now he has learned how to dress. He doesn't have to go to boutiques, but I have taught him the concept that you get what you pay for. You pay $12 for a top, it looks like a crappy $12 top and hangs like a crappy $12 top that will probably fall apart within 6 washings. You spend a bit more money on a quality item and it looks classy, not to mention it will last you for years.

Anyway, that was the cross I had to bear and I sucked it up and did it. And that is our job...teach our men how to shop. Many of them aren't taught how to dress when they're young, and lord knows they don't come upon it naturally. So please teach your man how to shop or do it for him, but don't let him out of the house looking like these men I was sitting with this afternoon.